"I want to give other people what StandOut gave me"
Q&A with StandOut Graduate Nathan
We are celebrating the amazing resilience of our trainees during Covid with Nathan’s journey. Nathan took part in the StandOut programme in HMP Pentonville and it sparked a passion for mentoring. Over a year after his release and despite a global pandemic, Nathan has continued to work towards his goal with StandOut and is now inspiring others to move away from crime in his new mentoring role.
Let’s talk first about what life was like for you before going to prison.
Life was pretty bad to be honest. Everything was all over the place. I didn’t know how to deal with my anger and I found it hard to express my emotions. I’d think I was angry when actually I was feeling hurt, sad or upset. I couldn’t spot that difference before.
When you’re eighteen years old you have a mentality that it makes you a weaker person if you open up. In fact, it makes you a stronger person. But I didn’t really have anyone to tell me that.
I’d been to prison before when I was 18 and I was in and out of trouble all my life really, from the age of about fourteen. I never thought that I’d be stuck in the system, in and out, always involved in crime, but when I went to prison this last time it was for violence again. I still didn’t know how to process my emotions. Yeah, life wasn’t good. But this time I met StandOut and everything changed.
And what brought you to StandOut?
[Laughs] Well actually, they tricked me! The coaches were visiting people on the wings and said StandOut is a course for people who are due to be released soon and want to get into work. I thought ‘I’m going to be out soon, I want to work, I’ll give it a go.’ Well, it was about so much more than just work! [Laughs] I learnt further down the line that it was about encouraging us and challenging our mindsets. I was ready for it.
So tell us a bit about the StandOut course.
The whole course was brilliant but everything changed when I had my first one-to-one session with the coaches. I’d worked in construction all my life but I wanted a change. Before StandOut I was thinking about getting a job in sales as I love working with people.
In my one-to-one, the coaches said ‘can we be honest with you? We think you’d be great at sales, but we’re wondering if that’s what you’re really passionate about?’ They said, ‘We’ve seen these amazing qualities and skills in you…have you ever thought about mentoring people?’
And I haven’t looked back since. They made me feel so good about myself, like no-one had made me feel for who knows how long. Considering they’ve met me probably at the lowest part of my life, while I’m in prison, and they’ve seen so much good and potential in me. I was kind of taken away by it.
That was when the switch flipped for me. No matter how long you do in prison, if you want to change that will happen in a split second. You could do ten years; you could do ten months. All it takes is one moment for everything to change. And for me, that moment was StandOut.
And what is it about StandOut that enables those moments to happen?
I think it’s a bit of everything. The content helps you to work out who you are, and to understand your strengths and the areas you want to work on. But it’s also how it is delivered, how the coaches make you feel.
It’s also that they invite employers into the prison to talk to us and do mock interviews which was a massive eye opener for us all. Some people thought that because of their record they weren’t ever going to get a job but when people from real companies come in and say ‘it doesn’t matter if you have a record, we employ people based on their potential’ it helps you to see you have options.
What’s different about StandOut?
I’ve done a few courses and it’s different to everything else. You don’t expect to find a safe haven in prison but StandOut was our safe space. People that you can actually rely on, because in prison you don’t really know who you can trust.
With most prison courses, once you finish the support stops. Whereas StandOut is another support network for life. They are there for you when you are in prison and when you get out. Regardless of whether things are going well or if you need a pick-me-up, their door is always open. That’s rare to find.
How has life been since leaving prison?
Life’s just been life – ups and downs. I was released from prison in December 2019 and then three months later we were in lockdown and have been since. And I’ve had some tough personal times since I came out. Before, I would have gone out, had a drink and done something stupid. Whereas now, StandOut is there for support and I have coped with everything in a completely different way. It’s helped me a great deal with my mindset and how to process my feelings which has been a life changer.
Everything has moved forward with my mentoring too – I’m now volunteering with two different organisations! StandOut put me in touch with a project called XLP and after I’ve just started mentoring a young person for twelve months. It’s very hands-on because I’m committed to that person but that’s exactly what I want to be doing - it’s surreal that I’m finally doing it!
I’m also volunteering as a Gang Presentation Facilitator with St Giles Trust and, after lockdown, I’ll be going into schools to speak to young people. During the interview I was honest with them about my experience and convictions and afterwards they actually said that I inspired them. You can’t explain that feeling when someone says you inspire someone - I’ve never had that in life. I know that I’m still at the start of my journey and there’s so much that I will learn along the way. Everyone’s got to start somewhere, but we can only progress.
You’ve been out of prison for over a year now. What does the future look like for you?
One day I would love to walk into prison on the other side of things and give other people that lightbulb moment like StandOut gave me. A lot of people think it’s not possible to change once you’re in the system. But you can, and I’m proof that there are better days ahead. It’s all about switching your mindset and surrounding yourself with good people.
Maybe one day I could work for StandOut…now that’s the ultimate goal!